Taking a step back

My back is the bane of my existence. Yes, I appreciate that I need it for life, but holy hell it annoys me.

Everything will be fine for a while, and then BAM! It goes out and I'm stuck laying down for at least half a day.

Of course, the fact that I'm up and around after that half-day is a testament to the work that Karen and I have done since February. Even with all that work, my back is giving me more problems than Karen or I would like, so we've decided to make some changes...

For the next 4-6 weeks, we're going to be working exclusively on core/back strengthening exercises to see if we can get my back to a more optimal place. Once we get there, I'll go back to my strength workouts. I'm going to keep doing the cardio because that doesn't usually cause me any pain.

If you're running into problems with pain in your workouts, it may be a good time to take a step back and see if you can do something to help the weaker parts of your body before pounding the hell out of them.

Latest Email to My Trainer

Hi Karen,

I just realized I didn't give you my take on the new TB workout. As I am so fond of lists, that is what you shall get now.

1. I still hate lunges. Of any kind. Sadly, I do recognize their value.

2. Those kickbacks are a bitch. I can feel things EVERYWHERE when I do them. 

3. I am not coordinated. At all. Trying to get the ball tap down without falling on my face is QUITE challenging.

4. Working out while you don't feel well is always exciting. Wednesday I took a nap after I got home from work. I ALWAYS feel nauseated when I get up. Ugh. Today it was having greasy food for dinner. I farted myself out of my room. I am gross.

5. For some reason, the dumbbell alternating curls always make my stomach retch. I'm trying to breathe more as I do them to see if that helps. So far, no improvement.

All in all, I dig it. My upper back is definitely getting a work-out with this!

Until next time...

Worst. Workout. Ever.

I've been working with the fantastic Karen over at afitterimage.com for over two months now. I've had some hard workouts and I've had to push myself a lot. I've had setbacks with my health - my back acting up, catching a cold - but I haven't wanted to quit. Until Monday night.

Allow me to paint a picture for you. It's sometime last week, and Karen's sitting in her fitness lair, devising my workout plan for Monday. She sits, hunched over her computer, elbows on the desk, fingers steepled a la Mr. Burns. In the background, Charlie Daniels Band's "Devil Went Down to Georgia" is playing, but only the part where the devil's on the fiddle. There's a flash of light as Karen realizes the torture she's going to unleash on me. Her hands feverishly cross the keys, each stroke designed to bring me more pain than the last. When she's done, she uploads "Boot Camp," and cackles with glee.

Okay, I may have exaggerated a bit there. But man, that kicked my ass. And not in the, "Wow, I feel really accomplished" way. Rather, it was the "Oh my God, I want to die, I can't breathe, please shoot me now" kind of way.

To be fair to Karen, I wasn't feeling super hot that day. I'd done a bit of drinking Saturday night and spent from 4am to 6am praying that the Vomit Gods wouldn't visit me. I took a little nap around 9am, but woke up to go get a mani/pedi, get my hair done, and go to dinner and the movies with my sister. I went to bed later than I should have. The entire day, I had a headache and felt a bit sick to my stomach. That lingered into Monday.

So perhaps I wasn't in top form Monday night when I attempted the workout. I wanted to die. So much.

I guess the takeaway from this isn't really that Karen's evil. Instead, it's that if you treat your body like shit and then attempt to make it do something like a kick ass boot camp workout, you're going to be miserable. I should have listened to my body and just taken the night off instead of trying to prove something to myself.

Nah. I'll just blame Karen.

Sado-Masochism Explained

Latest email to my trainer...


Karen,

I don't think anyone ever really pegged me as the masochistic type. I'm pretty sure if someone had to choose between either sadist or masochist to explain me, they'd choose sadist (apart my from some of my relationships and friendships I suppose).

More shocking than that is the revelation that you are clearly a sadist. I mean, Karen, really, I'm shocked. You never struck me as the sadistic type. Today's Killer Upper workout showed me your dark, sadistic side.

At this point I'm surprised I can type you this email. My arms are something akin to total jelly. Congratulations. A 5 year old could beat me in an arm wrestling contest. I just want to know which little brat put you up to it.

More seriously, I'm kicking the shit out of the plank. Closer to 25 seconds than 15, but 30 is way out there. Those dumbbell front raises are really kicking my ass. I'm having trouble getting to the full extension and by rep 8 I'm contemplating dropping one of the weights on my foot so I can stop. My push-up is pretty high up, but I'm actually doing a full push-up, and that's the goal, right?

I think this is working well and I'm excited about the improvements I'm likely to see.

Your favorite masochist,

Lyndsy

Weigh This, Biznatch!

In case the title of the post didn't give it away, I'm not a big fan of the scale.

A few years ago, I went on Weight Watchers. And I kicked the shit out of it. I dropped like 60 pounds in 5-6 months. I got on the scale EVERY DAY. I could tell you to the tenth of a pound how much I weighed on any given day. I was the smallest I'd been in YEARS. I saw my dad and he was like, "Oh my God! You haven't been this little since high school."

That was all well and good, but to succeed with Weight Watchers, you have to keep doing it. And doing it. You wonder why there are 50 year old people in those meetings who have been using it for years. They're there because they HAVE to be there.

Needless to say, I put the weight back on. Not all of it, I don't think, but most of it.

The thing is, I got compulsive about my weight. Obviously the less you eat, the more you lose. So I'd just rein it all in. I wasn't using all of my points every day, or even close on some days. I tried to throw some exercise in, but then the scale wouldn't budge, and I would get SUPER frustrated.

The other thing is that I was eating crap food. Sure, I was eating less of it, and there's something to be said for that, but I wasn't eating well. Which is why when I got off Weight Watchers, I gained it back.

This time around, I'm not using the scale. I'm trying to see how my body FEELS. How my clothes fit.

And it's funny, I got on the scale this week, just to see because my trainer asked how I was progressing. I weight about 7 pounds more now than when I started. Odd thing is, I look slimmer, I feel slimmer, and my clothes fit better.

Because I'm not using the scale as my gauge, I didn't freak out. I thought about what I've been eating, realized I could be doing it better and hopped off the scale. No throwing things, no avoiding food, none of it.

I know I need to eat better, and if I were, I'd probably be seeing crazy results. But, I know myself well enough to know that if I make drastic changes, they'll never stick. I can jump into an exercise routine and keep that up no problem. But my diet, well, that's a completely different story. There is NO point pushing into something I can't keep up.

Today's Lesson: Check Your Equipment

I mentioned recently how much I used to love riding my bike, but lately it's been more of a chore than anything else. Today I may have discovered why.

As I was getting ready to ride off into the sunset, I decided to check my tires to make sure they had enough air. I rode once on tires that weren't inflated enough, and it's a lot harder to ride that way than when the tires are properly inflated. I'm not really trying to earn points for extra difficulty with this, so I keep them well-inflated. It took much longer than it should have, but I got my tires all pumped up and ready to go. I figured that would solve the problem. Wrong.

I'd been riding for a couple minutes when I felt the familiar pain creep back into my legs, right at the top of my knees. Since this has been happening, I've been thinking about a friend of mine who posted pictures of his knees being iced on Facebook. He'd been riding his bike for a while and suffering from the knee pain I've been complaining of. I'd chatted with him about it, and asked him if he needed to adjust his seat since he was probably riding with it in the wrong place.

Now, how that didn't spur me into action to check on my own seat is beyond me. When I bought my bike they fitted me to it, so I assumed that everything was a-ok.

Let's think about this for a minute. My bike sat, unused, for nearly a year. It had been moved from one place to another to another. It rode from Seattle to West Palm Beach on the back of my car. Even after all of this it still didn't dawn on me to check the seat until after I started riding today.

And, it's not like I stopped because I thought I should check the seat. I stopped because MY SEAT WAS MOVING. I was worried about sliding off and running myself over with my own bike. Turns out, the locking mechanism on the seat was loose. and the seat was turning. My guess is that the seat has also slowly been sliding down and, as a result, I've been too close to the pedals.

I raised the seat up, locked it, and got back on my bike. Amazingly enough, my legs stopped hurting as well.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm what you call a "hard learner."

(The title of this post is a lot more exciting than the topic turned out to be. Be honest, you were hoping this was going to be dirty. It's okay. This is a safe place.)

One Month In

I started this battle a month ago and I think this is a good time marker to make some comments.

1. I hate thrusters, medicine ball circles, and my quads.
2. I'm glad I'm doing this. I've stuck with it, even when I just didn't want to do my exercise for the day.
3. My bike and I aren't as good a friends as we used to be. Because I'm working my legs so much, the bike hurts more than it used to. I'm glad because this means that I 'm really working those muscles, but I'm sad that I don't ride the way I used to. I do know that cardio on its own isn't a way to really get fit, so I'm okay with this.
4. I'm not really doing well with the eating component of this. My diet sort of sucks. I feel like the results would be better if I were paying more attention to what I was eating. Some of it is that I can only make so many changes at once. Another part of it is that I just started working again and I'm trying to get a good rhythm together for making food. So far meal planning has pretty much been a complete fail. Now that I'm sort of getting the hang of working and working out, I don't have any excuses not to prepare better for the week.
5. I don't feel like I've lost any appreciable size. But, I'm sort of okay with it. Do I want to be smoking hot and thinner than I am? Hell yes. However, my back feels SO much stronger that it's hard for me to worry about much else. I'm REALLY pleased with that. My poor back needs all the help it can get. I still get some soreness, but it's not as frequent and I'm not getting laid out because of it. As I keep going through this process, it'll get stronger and stronger.
6. My arms and inner thighs make me want to scream. I have a mirror in my workout space and as I do some of the exercises, I can see the FLAB. It taunts me. "Hello, bitch. I'm here and I'm not leaving. HA!" But around the flab, there is toning happening. AND I CAN SEE IT. Just wait, flab. I'm coming for you.

Overall, I'm very pleased with what I'm doing. I know I need to make a better commitment to my diet, but I'm just not overly motivated to do it. I have no idea what's going to get me motivated either.

Email to My Trainer

My trainer Karen sent me an email asking me what I'm most proud of and some other stuff. I rambled on, but I think it's a good thing to share here.

I'm proud of myself for: The plank. I think it's my new favorite and I'm going to enjoy monitoring my progress on it. I can only do 20 seconds, but given that I can feel like it's really working me in a lot of places, I'm happy I can do that. I'm also oddly proud of the Bird Dog. I can REALLY feel that one in my back, but today's workout felt better than Tuesday's, so I am pleased with that. 

I think my core is really developing nicely. Also, because I had to try, I think push ups eventually won't kick my ass. I can't really do a full one just yet, but there's not nearly as much weakness in my arms and wrists as there was when they were actually part of the workout. 

My mom asked me today how many of my workouts I've skipped and was very shocked when I said none, so I'm going to go ahead and say that I'm proud of my commitment to this. As you know, sticking to any kind of workout is tough, and I didn't opt to go easy on myself or even ease into it. I do SOMETHING six days a week. That's one hell of a commitment.

But, it's not really that big a deal because I get a tremendous amount of satisfaction when I make progress. I can see little muscles in my arms, I can feel them in my back. I don't think we realize just how many muscles we really use, and when you have an injury like I do with my back, it's a REALLY rude awakening. My back is ALWAYS going to be an issue for me. I'm always one wrong twist away from popping something out of place. But with these core strengthening workouts and the other stuff, I'm protecting myself just a little bit more each time. Not wanting to end up in the ER is an excellent motivator. 

Since I've been rambling for a while now anyway... I also like feeling like I'm getting to be a better version of myself. I made loads of excuses for not doing it before, but at some point, you just have to be honest with yourself and take action. Is it a big deal that I'm heavy? No, not really. It doesn't change WHO I am. However, for some of the stuff I want to do with my life, it'll be easier if I'm in better shape. I spend a lot of time trying to do good things for the people in my life, but one of the best things I can do for everyone, especially myself, is to get in shape and be healthier. 

Also, I WANT TO BE SMOKING FUCKING HOT. I want everyone, male and female, gay or straight, to watch me walk away from them, and be like, "Damn, I would hit that." If I'm honest, that's what really got me started down this path. (See above about connecting with my kin in SL,UT.)

All in all, we're doing a good thing here. Even MY MOTHER said I look good. 

Today's Lesson: Preparation

I am NOT a morning person. At all. I would love to sleep until 9, or even better, 10, every day. Occasionally my body says, "Oooh! 7am! Let's wake up now!!" But that's rare.

There are a few problems with this.
One: Jobs like you to be there sometime before noon. Eh. Fine.
Two: South Florida hates me. And everyone else who lives here.

South Florida is only a few degrees cooler than Hell. If you want to ride your bike and not get burned alive, you have to do it early. We also seem to have some issues with wind here. If you're riding after 8am, at least part of your ride is going to be against a very unpleasant wind.

I tell you all of this so you understand that my brain doesn't function quite right before 10am. Especially on days when I'm not having a Coke to get my system jolted alive.

When I know I want to be up at a particular time, I wake up regularly throughout the night because I'm hella paranoid I'm going to miss the alarm. Not that it would make much difference right now, but I do hate biking into the wind. So, I didn't fall asleep until almost midnight, I woke up several times, and finally got blasted awake at 6:30. Awesome.

I stumbled around, trying to get dressed in ride appropriate clothing (total fail on this one - wore the long bike shorts instead of the short ones...). I grabbed my phone (I have an app that tracks my ride), my iPod (need the beat to help me pump my legs), and my wallet (in case I get hit). My water bottle is attached to my bike. I thought about filling it, but figured I didn't have that much to drink on my last ride so there would be enough water for this one. Ha. Ha. Ha.

I'm riding, trying to shake the cobwebs from my brain. I get going and hit a light. Despite the early hour, it's damn warm out. I reach down for the water bottle and find it significantly emptier than I thought. "Eh, I should be okay."

I ride along for a little while longer when the heat and exertion finally push me to drink more. And I emptied my bottle. Not quite halfway into the ride. I pedal on and start panicking. The sun is rising and beating down on me, it's getting hotter, I'm sweating more, and I am tired. My legs feel like they don't want to work anymore. SHIT.

I thought about stopping at the middle school along the way, but in my sports bra tank top and bike shorts, I was sure they'd just boot me off campus for being a creeper and I'm not even sure they HAVE water fountains there anymore. (No idea why they'd get rid of them...)

The next thing I'm going to pass is a fire station, but for some reason, I didn't want to stop there. I'd gotten going again, and I knew I'd be at a shopping center in just a little bit. Of course, not long after I passed the station, my legs were like, "SCREW YOU FOR NOT PROPERLY HYDRATING!"

I did make it to the gas station and I bought a HUGE bottle of water. I have NO sense of measurement apparently, and I bought more than my bottle can hold. I shoved the bottle I bought down the back of my shirt. I gulped down too much water and headed back on my way too soon. For a bit I thought I was going to vomit. Fortunately, I was close to home and rode a slowly and willed myself to feel better.

I got home and almost immediately threw myself in the shower. Now all I want to do is take a nap. I'm going to have to work on this being awake in the morning thing.

What was I thinking?

What. The. Hell. Was. I. Thinking?

FRIDAY:
My first strength workout was Friday. Karen, my trainer, asked me to send her an update on the workout after I was done, here's what I sent her:

Hi Karen,

As I have just cooled-down from my workout and am not currently willing to move more muscles than it takes to type this email, I thought this was a great time for me to give you my reflections.

1. I stink. A lot. Am sweaty like pig. The smell is probably more a factor of not putting deodorant on prior to the workout, but I figured, "How sweaty and gross can I possibly get?" I now know. 

2. I have muscles in places I didn't realize they existed. I think you made them up.

3. I know something about this is working. I just got a message from [my dentist friend]. He told me that for the first time in 5.5 years of working in people's mouths, a patient almost made him throw up. He said "oh yeah her mouth smelled like a giraffe took a shit in it." I tell you this not to gross you out, but because I started laughing really hard when I read it, and my stomach muscles are attempting a mutiny. Clearly they got a workout.

More seriously...

1. Can we substitute something else for push-ups? I can definitely see the benefit of the push-up. On that second set, I could feel it EVERYWHERE. However, my right wrist doesn't seem to enjoy them. I can't even get into a full push-up. I also can't do more then two sort of half push-ups. I did feel like I was getting better as I got into the third set, got closer to a real push-up. Can we maybe pull the reps down? Alternate hand placement?

2. Other than the push-ups, the reps are totally fine. I do start to feel like, "OH CRAP I CANNOT DO ANYMORE," and then I realize I'm nearing the end of the rep count.

3. Even after just this first workout, I'm confident this is the best thing I've done with my money this year.

I'm going to go eat now.

We're taking push-ups out for a while, though I was warned that they will creep back in. 

SATURDAY:

Saturday is my rest day, but I wasn't supposed to spend it just lazing around. I decided a trip to a huge outlet shopping mall was in order. Maybe not the wisest choice. My muscles were VERY sore ALL day on Saturday and did not appreciate my choice to keep moving. They were whispering to me, "Oooh, look at that bench. You know you want to sit down and not move again until mall security escorts you out tonight." When I refused to comply, they screamed at me. It took lunch at PF Changs to drown those bastards out.

SUNDAY:

This morning I learned a little about discipline. Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays are cardio days for me. Right now, that means a bike ride. I had surgery on my back in January 2011, so running is out of the question and walking bothers my back after a little while. Biking doesn't cause any problems. 

The thing about riding a bike where I live is that I have to do it EARLY if I don't want to be killed by the Evil Florida Day Star or the wind that is ALWAYS going against me for at least 2 miles of the ride. I'd set my alarm for 6:30 (I know you can feel the 'but'), BUT since I didn't go to sleep until almost midnight, I wasn't feeling it. I turned off the alarm and rationalized riding this evening. 

I woke up a half hour later, and made myself get out of bed and ready to ride. I HOPED a 7:30am start time would save me from the wind. WRONG. Do you know what it's like to bike on sore muscles, with a slightly underinflated tire, and against the wind for the LAST two miles of the ride? It sucks. That will teach me not to get going when I know I should have.

Despite my desire to drop my bike and call for a ride, I powered on. I found motivation only the way a woman can: I thought about some totally gorgeous and seriously ripped men I know. A couple friends of mine are in absolutely amazing shape. So ripped and so hot. Like, drool-inducing hot. And I thought to myself, "Get it together, you whiny bitch! They didn't get all hot by quitting in the middle. They sucked it up and kept going! GET ON IT." I gritted my teeth and pushed on. It wasn't as long a ride as I usually do, but I think I get some bonus points for the wind and combating muscles that are trying to revolt against me.

I did core strengthening exercises after I rested for a few minutes. We're trying to help my back help itself. I have two herniated discs in my lower back. I need all the strength I can get in my back muscles to stop them from causing me serious problems. 

RANDOM NOTE:

I now eat like a bear just out of hibernation. Every day. I like to get the exercising out of the way early (see above re: wind and sun), but that means I'm like starving ALL day. I'm trying to be good and keep the carbs/starches/sugars to a minimum. I've had more fruits and veggies in the last few days than in the month before this. Blargh.

I'm eating little bits throughout the day so I don't start chomping on people's arms or faces. I'm too pretty for prison.

What the hell is Death to Jiggles?

I'm not sure when it started, but I let myself go a little bit. Okay, I let myself go a lot. I went from being about 180-190 pounds (and a little flabby) to 250 (and a lot flabby). Since that high point, I've used Weight Watchers, modified my diet, added a little exercise, and done a crazy HCG diet. I lost 60 pounds on Weight Watchers in about 6 months. I took off 20 pounds modifying my diet, and I lost about 30 pounds with HCG.

And...then I found the weight again. I looked in the mirror the other day after getting out of the shower. I shook a little, and all I could thing was, "LOOK AT THAT JIGGLE!" I wiggled my arms, and found Jiggle there too. We won't even talk about my upper thighs.

One of my goals for 2012 is to get into lose weight, get into better shape, and strengthen my back (I had surgery on it in January 2011). Rather than do the same things over and over again while expecting different results (read: insanity), I decided to spend a little money and get a professional to help me.

I hired Karen from A Fitter Image to help me kill off Jiggles. The exercise plan she's got worked out for me, combined with a better diet, will get me into the shape I've always wanted to be in. Not only will I lose weight, I'll be fitter and healthier. My body will work more efficiently and burn fat better.

The great thing about this is that I can do it from home! No expensive gym membership that I don't want to use. I don't know about you, but I HATE going to the gym, watching all these superfit people do their thing, somehow looking gorgeous and not sweaty, while I suffer like a pig on a spit.

I'll post about pretty much everything about the experience - the gear, the clothes, the workouts, how I'm feeling, the progress I'm making, what makes me want to cry, my concerns about my muscles turning to jelly. You get the picture.

What I will not post is the workouts themselves. My workout has been designed for me specifically. What's best for me probably isn't what's best for you. The best thing to do is to consult a personal trainer yourself and get something designed for you. So go check out A Fitter Image. It's one of the best things you can do for your health and fitness this year.