What was I thinking?

What. The. Hell. Was. I. Thinking?

FRIDAY:
My first strength workout was Friday. Karen, my trainer, asked me to send her an update on the workout after I was done, here's what I sent her:

Hi Karen,

As I have just cooled-down from my workout and am not currently willing to move more muscles than it takes to type this email, I thought this was a great time for me to give you my reflections.

1. I stink. A lot. Am sweaty like pig. The smell is probably more a factor of not putting deodorant on prior to the workout, but I figured, "How sweaty and gross can I possibly get?" I now know. 

2. I have muscles in places I didn't realize they existed. I think you made them up.

3. I know something about this is working. I just got a message from [my dentist friend]. He told me that for the first time in 5.5 years of working in people's mouths, a patient almost made him throw up. He said "oh yeah her mouth smelled like a giraffe took a shit in it." I tell you this not to gross you out, but because I started laughing really hard when I read it, and my stomach muscles are attempting a mutiny. Clearly they got a workout.

More seriously...

1. Can we substitute something else for push-ups? I can definitely see the benefit of the push-up. On that second set, I could feel it EVERYWHERE. However, my right wrist doesn't seem to enjoy them. I can't even get into a full push-up. I also can't do more then two sort of half push-ups. I did feel like I was getting better as I got into the third set, got closer to a real push-up. Can we maybe pull the reps down? Alternate hand placement?

2. Other than the push-ups, the reps are totally fine. I do start to feel like, "OH CRAP I CANNOT DO ANYMORE," and then I realize I'm nearing the end of the rep count.

3. Even after just this first workout, I'm confident this is the best thing I've done with my money this year.

I'm going to go eat now.

We're taking push-ups out for a while, though I was warned that they will creep back in. 

SATURDAY:

Saturday is my rest day, but I wasn't supposed to spend it just lazing around. I decided a trip to a huge outlet shopping mall was in order. Maybe not the wisest choice. My muscles were VERY sore ALL day on Saturday and did not appreciate my choice to keep moving. They were whispering to me, "Oooh, look at that bench. You know you want to sit down and not move again until mall security escorts you out tonight." When I refused to comply, they screamed at me. It took lunch at PF Changs to drown those bastards out.

SUNDAY:

This morning I learned a little about discipline. Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays are cardio days for me. Right now, that means a bike ride. I had surgery on my back in January 2011, so running is out of the question and walking bothers my back after a little while. Biking doesn't cause any problems. 

The thing about riding a bike where I live is that I have to do it EARLY if I don't want to be killed by the Evil Florida Day Star or the wind that is ALWAYS going against me for at least 2 miles of the ride. I'd set my alarm for 6:30 (I know you can feel the 'but'), BUT since I didn't go to sleep until almost midnight, I wasn't feeling it. I turned off the alarm and rationalized riding this evening. 

I woke up a half hour later, and made myself get out of bed and ready to ride. I HOPED a 7:30am start time would save me from the wind. WRONG. Do you know what it's like to bike on sore muscles, with a slightly underinflated tire, and against the wind for the LAST two miles of the ride? It sucks. That will teach me not to get going when I know I should have.

Despite my desire to drop my bike and call for a ride, I powered on. I found motivation only the way a woman can: I thought about some totally gorgeous and seriously ripped men I know. A couple friends of mine are in absolutely amazing shape. So ripped and so hot. Like, drool-inducing hot. And I thought to myself, "Get it together, you whiny bitch! They didn't get all hot by quitting in the middle. They sucked it up and kept going! GET ON IT." I gritted my teeth and pushed on. It wasn't as long a ride as I usually do, but I think I get some bonus points for the wind and combating muscles that are trying to revolt against me.

I did core strengthening exercises after I rested for a few minutes. We're trying to help my back help itself. I have two herniated discs in my lower back. I need all the strength I can get in my back muscles to stop them from causing me serious problems. 

RANDOM NOTE:

I now eat like a bear just out of hibernation. Every day. I like to get the exercising out of the way early (see above re: wind and sun), but that means I'm like starving ALL day. I'm trying to be good and keep the carbs/starches/sugars to a minimum. I've had more fruits and veggies in the last few days than in the month before this. Blargh.

I'm eating little bits throughout the day so I don't start chomping on people's arms or faces. I'm too pretty for prison.